Posts Tagged 'Radio'

And We’re Off!

So yesterday I had the meeting. The Reality show has been commissioned! “Pat’s Ireland” will see me going to the different counties of Ireland over the summer. I’ll get to see the way the commoners (i.e., you people) live.

To be honest, I’d rather be going to some other country, but budget cuts and all that means I can’t. (It costs like half a million quid to make each episode of The Afternoon Show. Most goes on make-up and camera filters to make the women look human.)

I can’t wait to head off. We leave in our campervan next week. It’ll be just myself, Patricia (the wife), plus our 2 teenage kids – Pat Jr. and Young Paddy. Patricia said she’d do the driving.

Too right she will, my license got revoked three years ago when I hit that deer in Phoenix Park. Well…when I say “Deer” it turned out he was just a hairy homeless guy. Still, he was ok after a few months. More or less.

Anyhow, I know what all my dedicated fans are thinking, and yes, I will still be presenting the radio show during all this so don’t worry.

I have a radio transmitter hooked up to the roof, and I’ve made the bathroom my own private studio. It’s quite ingenious. Every time is flush the toilet; it powers the generator, which in turn gives me 20 minutes of talk time on the air. That may prove to be a little problematic.

First stop on the tour – Dublin. We’re going to take it easy for the first week. My good friend and fellow DJ, Joe Duffy will also join us in our travels for the first week. He wants us to go to what he calls “the most glamorous of destinations” – Clontarf.

Joe says he hopes he can get to use my toilet to broadcast his radio show from there.

I just hope we can make it through the county without the van getting stolen.

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Hungry For Some Gift Grub.

One of my favourite segments on the Late Late Show is when we have a celebrity chef on to cook some food for us. Last Friday, we had Jamie Oliver on the show cooking me some pasta. It was a lot more than when Ainsley Harriott was on a few weeks ago. All he did was help judge a fashion show.

Modelling doesn’t put food on the table! And even if it did, the models probably wouldn’t eat it. All the while, I’m still hungry.

It is great anyhow to have a chef on the show like that. It means I can finally get a good meal. That RTE canteen only ever serves me soup. And the missus at home isn’t the best cook in the world either. Like that time she tried making Beef Wellington, with an actual boot. I still wonder about what was in that Shepherd’s pie she once made.

Don’t get me wrong; we’re both terrible cooks. Last time I tried cooking a slice of toast, I burned our bathroom. Long story, don’t ask.

You’d think she’d have time to learn to cook though. All she does is stay at home and watch TV or listen to yours truly on the radio. Speaking of the radio, that guy who does the celebrity voices on Today FM’s Gift Grub programme was on the show too. (Excellent link, eh?)

“Super” Mario Woodstock is the guy. He’s trying to milk the last drops out of being able to “impersonate” Bertie Ahern. The saddest part is, the guy actually has a split personality. He thinks he is each one of the people that he does a voice of. The people at Today FM just lock him in a small dark room all day, and record his mad ramblings as he talks to himself.

Good thing they don’t do the same with us RTE people. We’re allowed out of the room at lunchtime.


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