Posts Tagged 'Oxegen'

Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

So, I made it out of Leitrim. Just about. The experience was far worse than anything I could have expected. It reminded me of that film The Hills Have Eyes. Unfortunately, we didn’t get much camera footage. When we set the cameras rolling, the locals ganged up and accused our cameraman of trying to steal their souls. Such a shame they sacrificed him inside a large wicker man like that. Oh well, he knew what the job entailed.

So anyhow, now that the national tour is done and dusted, we jetted on down the N3 road on the way home for a well-deserved rest.

Well, so I thought. For some inexplicable reason, the feckwits, I mean bosses, at RTE thought I should present The Late Late Show from Wexford Opera House. I should be angry that I’m kept outside Dublin for a bit longer, but on the other hand, I’m actually psyched for this. I’m flattered that they arranged such a grand venue for me to show off my vocal talents.

The last time I sung in public was when I was a little tipsy at Oxegen and got up to do karaoke in the VIP bar. Which was an amazing sight to see. I do an excellent 48-minute version of Bohemian Rhapsody. Falsetto voices, manic dancing, removal of shirts, head banging, and jumping kicks, I give it the full 110%. And the people in the crowd (that haven’t left by then) cheer like they’re insane.

Plus I’m going to be backed up by the RTE Concert Orchestra, which is mega wicked awesome. We’ve got every type of instrumentalist in that orchestra: a violinist, a cello player, a triangle player, and even a guy who can make noises with his armpits. Oh-ho, it’s going to be a good show. See you all there!


Apologies To The Tent I Peed On…

I am wrecked. Oxegen was a blast. So tired after it though.

I got to see so many amazing bands over the weekend. Especially front row for Rage Against The Machine. It was so much fun moshing away in the pit area there. Where else will you get a chance to smack some spotty teenagers in the face and get away with it? I mean, I’ve done it before, but still it’s more fun when I don’t have to pay people off afterwards.

There was so much more craic to have been had over in the campsites however. Thanks to paying off the security, I was able to drive the campervan right into the site. The people whose tent I crushed weren’t too pleased. Especially since they happened to have been in it at the time. Oops.

We also got into a bit of further trouble later on the Thursday evening. The wife had brought a 12 pack of cigarettes with her, but had forgotten to get a lighter. I ended up creating a makeshift blowtorch for her using the cooker and a can of deodorant. Unfortunately, it was too strong. Still, her eyebrows will eventually grow back, right?

My only complaint about the whole weekend was the weather. Sunday was a lovely warm day, but the Friday was so wet, that I had to stay stuck in the tents. Means I missed that Kings of Lion band. I really wanted to go and sing “Hakuna Matata”.

Instead I got that Cowboy singer guy Mundy, with his singing about girls from Galway. They’re not even remotely attractive!

Ah, well, I can always see them next year. Roll on Oxegen 2009!

Can’t Wait to see Bell Eleven again.

It’s been a bit of a crisis week here. Eddie Hobbs didn’t like hanging around with us. He bailed out after 2 days. Literally bailed out. We were driving to Clare when he opened the door and jumped. According to him, he “couldn’t stand the smell of your feet like.” And not a lick of help with my finances!

So a new plan was formed: Oxegen Festival! We got tickets for it there off of a scalper. For real cheap too. Only a grand for the lot of us to get in. (This whole Irish recession thing is great!)

I can’t wait to see all the artists advertised for playing it. All my favourites are there. Like Rodge Against The Machine (An excellent one man band), or The Kings of Lion. I believe they are a musical tribute to the classic Disney film.

I hear from the kids that Oxegen is great. They have loads of stuff there, like tents and toilets and even a Wine House. It’s apparently owned by some girl named Amy. Can’t wait to go there for a quiet drink.

So, right now we’re just waiting outside the campsite, playing strip poker to pass the time. I keep winning. Or losing, depending on how you see things. The wife is the only female in the caravan, and I see her naked all the time. Not by my choice either.

Speaking of what’s hot and what’s not, I hope the weather’s going to be good for this. I only have all my beachwear with me, because I thought we were off to the beach. Still, I can get by in my sandals and shorts. It’s a music festival in the middle of July. It’s hardly going to rain, is it?

Till the next time: Rock “N” Roll. Dudes!

May 2018
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