And We’re Off!

So yesterday I had the meeting. The Reality show has been commissioned! “Pat’s Ireland” will see me going to the different counties of Ireland over the summer. I’ll get to see the way the commoners (i.e., you people) live.

To be honest, I’d rather be going to some other country, but budget cuts and all that means I can’t. (It costs like half a million quid to make each episode of The Afternoon Show. Most goes on make-up and camera filters to make the women look human.)

I can’t wait to head off. We leave in our campervan next week. It’ll be just myself, Patricia (the wife), plus our 2 teenage kids – Pat Jr. and Young Paddy. Patricia said she’d do the driving.

Too right she will, my license got revoked three years ago when I hit that deer in Phoenix Park. Well…when I say “Deer” it turned out he was just a hairy homeless guy. Still, he was ok after a few months. More or less.

Anyhow, I know what all my dedicated fans are thinking, and yes, I will still be presenting the radio show during all this so don’t worry.

I have a radio transmitter hooked up to the roof, and I’ve made the bathroom my own private studio. It’s quite ingenious. Every time is flush the toilet; it powers the generator, which in turn gives me 20 minutes of talk time on the air. That may prove to be a little problematic.

First stop on the tour – Dublin. We’re going to take it easy for the first week. My good friend and fellow DJ, Joe Duffy will also join us in our travels for the first week. He wants us to go to what he calls “the most glamorous of destinations” – Clontarf.

Joe says he hopes he can get to use my toilet to broadcast his radio show from there.

I just hope we can make it through the county without the van getting stolen.

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